Santa, Penguins and chocolateoh my!
by Roo1965
Summary: Jim hates shopping in the festive season, gift buying is fine- he’s not the grumpy Scrooge Blair thinks he is- no, it’s the crowds and shopping malls that get him every time. For 1 January 2009 dues. Seasonal cliches and sick!Jim in this here fic.


Category: angsty fluff (is that an oxymoron?)

Season: One but not specific to an ep.

Rating: PG

Content warnings: seasonal clichés and sick!Jim in this here fic.

Summary: Jim hates shopping in the festive season, gift buying is fine- he's not the grumpy Scrooge Blair thinks he is- no, it's the crowds and shopping malls that get him every time.

A/N--While I am sure there _have_ been Christmas window displays of skating Penguins in big department stores, one I really remember in _Fenwicks _window in Newcastle (UK) in the late 1980's was one with a sci-fi theme involving bright neon green teddy bears…. The rest is just Jim feeling ill and overdosing on chocolate smells...like that _never_ happened to me...ever....

* * *

**Santa, Penguins and chocolate...oh my!**

**Jim**

Jim sniffed as he sat stuck in the line of traffic at the entrance to the shopping mall, absently tapping a finger or two against the steering wheel as he waited for a free space. Finally cars exited the parking lot and he made a left into a slot before someone else. He sat for a second to gather his plan of attack . He had a few ideas of which shops to hit and hoped he'd see something unexpected that would hit the right spot as Christmas gifts. He wanted to be in and out of there as fast as possible. Not just because it was bound to be chaos in there but because he really wasn't feeling too good. The beginnings of a winter cold- a mild sore throat and tightening of the sinuses giving him a headache and runny nose, not to mention he was tired out after several hectic and long days at work and last night's bitterly cold stakeout was absolutely the last straw.

He got out of the truck and fumbled for a tissue immediately as the cold air hit him and made his nose run. * _Great, just great_* he sighed. He couldn't accuse Blair for giving him the cold- Blair had remained bug free this winter. It was everyone else that had coughed, sneezed and sniffed for weeks. Jim smiled as he remembered Blair's "healthy eating and living" speech at work and how they'd all gently teased him about it -offering him doughnuts and Danish pastries in temptation. He hunched into his thick coat as he walked towards the main entrance, keeping an eye and ear out for wayward children and cars. The automatic doors whooshed open in front of him and he was in.

A few yards inside he stopped to check the store plan. Oh, yeah this was as bad as he thought it was going to be. His nose prickled and he sneezed loudly, frantically searching for a new tissue. A woman with two children and about six shopping bags muttered "Bless you," as she went past. He already wanted to go home and he hadn't even started. He blew his nose again, sniffed and set off.

0o0o0o0

**Blair**

Blair looked up and the sound of a muffled thud outside the door. He opened it to see wrapped packages spilling out of a broken plastic bag and Jim about to insert his key whilst holding onto another bag.

"Hey Jim, let me give you a hand with those,"

"No, you're not allowed to see what's in them!"

Blair was surprised at Jim's answer and the bunged up yet husky sound of his voice- he hadn't sounded that bad at lunchtime, when he last saw the detective.

He pulled Jim into the warmth, gently tugging on the sleeve of his coat. "They're wrapped Jim, you might have X- ray eyes but I don't!" he said with a grin.

"Oh."

Blair began to worry as he bent down to put the items back in the split bag and pushed the door shut behind him. He put them on the kitchen table; Jim hadn't moved and was still clutching the other bag.

"Jim?" he tried removing the bag.

"Huh?" Jim startled a bit and looked down at the bag and Blair "Right, I'll just put these…um.." and it looked like Jim was searching round the apartment for a safe or floorboards to hide them under.

"It's really hot in here," Jim said still clutching one bag and unbuttoning his coat and shrugging out of one arm. To Blair's amusement he shifted the bag to the other arm and slid the coat off, leaving it to pool on the floor. Sighing, Blair picked it up.

"So I'm tidying up after you now am I? You know you just broke rule #5. Always hang your coat up by the door."

Jim grunted in reply and trudged up the stairs to his room, still hugging the bag.

"So how was the mall? Did you get everything, or you need another trip?" he called up the stairs.

"It was chaos…kids and people and…penguins…" Jim sneezed loudly.

"Penguins?!"

"You know at the depardment store there….and the green space teddy bears.."

"Jim…what?..."

"An' runny chocolate everywhe…." And the words faded out.

Blair started up the stairs trying to work out if Jim had taken some cold remedy and that was why he was wacko, or if it was just the stress and the cold and Jim was …still loopy.

At the top of the stairs he stopped and smiled at the image of Jim laid on the bed, his shoes off but with one hand resting on the gift bag. His eyes were closed and he breathed noisily through his nose and mouth.

Blair carefully slid the bag out from under the hand and put it on an empty chair. He turned and looked at Jim again. He did look a little flushed- time to break out the Tylenol and hot lemon. Suddenly Jim stirred and half sat up, patting the bed blearily for the missing bag.

"It's okay they're on the chair. Quite safe." Blair reassured him.

"Oh, thangs. Should be a box of tissudes in there too," Blair deciphered the nasal request, found the box and passed it already open for Jim, who immediately grabbed a tissue and blew his nose loudly.

"So, did you go and see Santa while you were at the mall Jim?" he asked wondering just what Jim had been up to.

"No, but Joseph got lost and I returned hib to Bary and he wend and saw Santa." replied Jim with his usual honesty.

"Right….ahmm …and what did Joseph want from Santa, did he tell you?"

"Yeah, he wanded a baby brother." Jim said as if this made perfect sense which it did, sort of.

"Was this before or after the penguins, green teddy bears and the runny chocolate?"

"After!" Jim asserted, like Blair was a complete idiot.

"Fine. You stay here and guard the presents and I'll get some Tylenol and make some hot lemon. Now you're up here you might as well get into bed."

"kay."

0o0o0

Two days later Jim was sitting wrapped up in front of the TV trying to understand _Spongebob Squarepants_ when Blair came back.

"Hey Chief," he croaked. His cold was slowly going and Blair was now off until New Years. He was looking forward to Christmas, even if he couldn't taste food or smell the mulled wine just yet. It would be just the two of them on the day itself, with Simon and others turning up for a post Christmas food fest and poker game.

"Hi Jim, I see you're watching something educational!"

"Is that wad this is?"

Blair laughed and quickly put the fresh vegetables and fruit away and put the kettle on. A few moments later he handed Jim a hot lemon drink. Blair got something from the shopping bag and handed it to Jim before sitting next to him on the couch with a mug of herbal tea.

Jim picked up the bright red coloured package with a large Penguin on the front. He opened it and individually wrapped bars fell out. He read the packaging and turned to Blair who sat with a big grin on his face.

"Well you were the one rabbiting on and about chocolate and Penguins! Got them from David, his wife's from England and she gets care packages. She happened to have this…I'm just glad your fever's gone."

END

hib = him

Bary = Mary

Wanded = wanted

**Penguin** biscuits made by McVitie's (part of United Biscuits), a popular chocolate covered biscuit bar in the UK since the early 1970's.


End file.
